Stories of mine, my friends and readers.

The good, the bad, the ugly, the rage inducing stories about dating, relationships and #singlelyf.


Dog Liars

Gripe- Anon

Can I just say that I’m sick to death of guys putting photos of them with dogs on their profile and then it ends up not even being their dog?! Like boy, that’s the whole reason I swiped!!!!


Bus Stalker

An awkward date story- Anon

I had a Tinder date with a guy, he lived on the other side of the city to me. We met in town. I had to catch the train in. He seemed nice enough, and I know it sounds bad but I just was not attracted to him because of his voice. It was super high pitched. Not Elmo levels but getting up there.
At dinner, he barely let me get a word in, he talked almost non-stop. The next part of our date took us to a mini-golf bar. We had a cocktail and played the game, I absolutely obliterated him, and I did enjoy myself.
Here comes the weird part.
I was getting antsy and wanted to leave because I had to catch my train back out to where I lived. It was really late at night and because I lived far out of the city, trains were only running on the hour. As he was trying to prolong his time with me, I ended up missing my train by one minute! I was furious. Although I was thankful that he stayed and waited with me so I wouldn’t be murdered.
The time for the train to leave finally roles around, and it has been replaced by a coach. He walked me to the bus, said goodnight and I got on. I sat in my seat and then someone sat down next to me, it was the guy!
“I’ll just come with you!” he said.
It was 1am and I was too exhausted to argue, so I just sat there. He talked the whole way home, so I couldn’t even get in a cheeky nap.
When we finally got back to my place (I will stress that he was now about 2 hours from his own home), I made him hang out in the lounge room while I showered.
I then got into bed, and he followed me. Again, too tired to argue. He asked to kiss me, and I said no.
He asked again a few minutes later, I gave him a peck on the lips and rolled over and aggressively tried to sleep.
The next morning, I woke up bright and early and drove him to the station. I was very much planning on never seeing him again. Upon leaving the car, he kissed me full on the mouth and said, “Bye babe, I’ll miss you.”
I blocked his number before he got on the train.


Carabeena Keys

A terrible date story- Anon

It was a brisk Friday evening and my Uber was stuck in traffic, I asked to get out and walk but he wouldn’t let me! I should have seen this as a sign from the universe that maybe never getting to the date would have been better.
We meet up eventually (way later than intended, my bad) and I notice he has his giant keys hanging from a carabeena clip at his belt loop. I mean like prison level set of keys. I thought this was weird and offered to carry them in my bag (mistake).
On the walk to the restaurant he kept bragging about stupid comments he has made in the past that he thought were funny that pissed off Uber drivers and ruined his rating. When I told him they were high key racist comments, he said “people probably think I’m racist because I’m white anyway.”
Now I don’t want to be awful and shallow, but he made a lot of eye contact and his eyes kind of popped out of his head and it really freaked me out.
Great start.
We get to the dumplings restaurant he orders himself a bunch of food and says he had dumplings for lunch so didn’t want to have dumplings now, even though we had it planned for a week to get dumplings!


So, I ordered my dumplings and focused on eating them so I didn’t have to make eye contact as he picked broccoli from his teeth, drank beer too quick, kept saying we were going to get drunk later and how he’s a “wildcard” when he drinks so he never gets invited to formal events. He also continued to burp loudly throughout the meal.
He then decides to point out that I look uncomfortable and anxious, I wonder why!!
At one point, he went to the bathroom and I was definitely considering leaving $20 on the table and bailing, but he left his phone and wallet on the table and as I’m not a complete jerk and didn’t want them to get stolen, I stayed.
During this time, however, I texted my friend and she said to fake an emergency to do with my dog, so she called me and I did the required panic and I told him I’m wasn’t feeling it and needed to go home. He said “oh, well as long as it isn’t me that’s making you want to go home, this really isn’t how I envisioned the night going.”
I laughed awkwardly and power walked towards the station, him trailing behind me like a lost puppy. I didn’t want to wait on the platform with him and had planned to go to my friend’s place via tram to debrief, but he thought I was going home so I had to fake going to the bathroom so he would go to the platform without me, alas I still had his keys and had to go give them back to him, then hide in the bathroom again until I could get safely to the tram.
I am still traumatised by this.

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